Helpmate.

Whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed, and whenever he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed. 12 But Moses’ hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. 13 And Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the sword.          (Genesis 17:11-13)

Let me be transparent for a minute. There have been times in my marriage when my husband lets me down…shocker right! I wouldn’t believe a married woman out there who said that her husband has never disappointed her. There is a reason Paul tells us in the Bible that it is better to not marry!

Seriously, though, our husbands are far from perfect…and we are just as imperfect. I have to admit that in those times when I do not like what he is doing, or when I wish he would do it differently, or when he just is not doing it the way I would do it (is anybody with me!), that I oh so easily play the role of the judging, critical, nagging wife. As if I think that I can “nag” him into perfection. Wow! Sometimes I fail so miserably at looking at my imperfections, but I hardly miss a moment to notice the imperfections of my husband. Ladies, nobody wants to cuddle with a cactus! I judge – I critic – I correct – I disrespect – and then I wonder why he doesn’t respond in a loving way to me!

We need a news flash: we are not our husband’s judge. The Bible does not say, “Wives, correct your husbands,” or “Wives, critic your husbands,” or even “Wives, you have every right to be stomping mad at your husband when he forgets to do something you told him to do, and you are beyond justified to let him know how mad you are!” The good Word says, “WIVES, SUBMIT TO YOUR OWN HUSBANDS, AS TO THE LORD.” It is not our place to perfect our husbands, and it only ends badly when we try. Our job is to support our husbands, to be their cheerleader, to admire them, and to respect them. God calls us to encourage and lift them up when life beats them down. God calls us to speak life and truth into them. God calls us to respect and honor them, even when they act unloving to us. God calls us to graciously forgive them, for He has unceasingly forgiven us!

I love this little passage in Genesis. The Israelites are fighting the people of Amalek. Whenever Moses had his hands raised, the people of God prevailed. Whenever Moses lowered his hands, Amalek prevailed. And as Moses’ arms grew weary, his partners Aaron and Hur were right there to help him. This is the godly role we ought to take in our marriage. As long as your husband’s hands are raised to the Lord and his eyes are on the Lord and His leading and guidance, your family will prevail and have the security and victory of living in obedience and honor to the Lord. But your husband’s arms will grow weary. As God said, “man is not meant to be alone.” God has sent you to help your husband hold up his hands to the Lord when he is weak and weary. When your husband is struggling, don’t bring him down even further. Hold his hands up and point him back to the Lord. When your husband is tired and irritated, be patient with him. Hold his hands up and respect him still. When your husband is struggling with bitterness or negativity, don’t fuel his fire. Hold his hands up and remind him of the provision and sovereignty of the Lord.

Creation was not complete until Eve. We look around us and see the beautiful mountains, oceans, rolling hills, starry skies, sunsets, and glorious living creatures from the ant to the elephant…and even in all of this beauty, it was not complete until Adam had his helpmate. Respect him and support him and love him, even when it is hard – especially when it is hard – for you are doing it as unto the Lord Himself.

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